When BFM 89.9 contacted me to do a show on the topic of “how to affair-proof your marriage,” I said, “sure, I know about that topic.” Little did I know, however, that when you type in these words in Google – how to affair proof your marriage — it results in pages and pages of advice on just how to do that!
But I did not search the internet prior to the BFM show. Armed only with my training and a decade plus years of experience helping couples to work through relationship infidelity, I went on air with Meera Sivasothy and we chatted. [Scroll down to listen to the podcast.]
It’s been a week since Valentine’s Day and the airing of the BFM 89.9 interview with Meera Sivasothy on The Bigger Picture. The topic of our conversation: Expats Looking For Love Locally.
As a Chinese Malaysian man married to a Caucasian expat woman, I sometimes feel like I have a right to speak about the expat-local intimate relationship. However, when I consider the many different expat-local couple clients whom I have seen, I would have to maintain that not all expat-local couples are the same.
If you are married with a good number of children and you (or your spouse) are doing well financially, chances are, it will be a pleasure for you to meet up with extended family this Chinese New Year.
But what about those who have just suffered a relationship break-up, or dropped out of school, or lost a job? Or those who are still, despite trying hard, unable to find a life-partner or have children of their own? What might family gatherings be like for them?
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. ~ Confucius
When I was a child, my father used to ask me what I would do when I grow up.
“Do business,” I would reply.
It was the right answer to give. After all, my father was a strong and influential businessman. I could not conceive of myself giving another answer even though I had other interests, like music.
It was a struggle for me in my first year of university when I broke the news to my father that I was switching my studies from business into psychology. He was upset and lectured me for 5 minutes over the phone, ending his lecture with: “it would be better for you to switch into music — then you could at least earn a bit of money as a piano teacher!”
I felt mocked. So I retorted, “I am actually majoring in music and minoring in psychology.”
I heard an exasperated sigh on the other end of the phone, and then a click. He had hung up.