Want to give your marital blahs a little lift? Try this online dating profile activity for married couples.
My wife and I have been married for more than 15 years. In fact, next month will mark our 16th anniversary together. We have gone through our fair share of ups and downs, and like many couples, after a while of doing regular life, things can get dull.
Lately, I have been helping some clients of mine to find new love on dating websites. With a little bit of advice from my novice copywriting skills, some of my clients have gone from no responses to more responses than they can handle! But that is not the main point of this post.
The main point is that I decided to try online dating profiling as an activity for my wife and I. It was fun and even rekindled a spark of romance between us! But a little caveat: If your relationship is not in a good place, this exercise may backfire, requiring you to seek professional help (which in my biased opinion, is not a bad thing to do).
So, how does this activity work?
Step 1: Carve out a relaxed evening (no work the next day). Give yourselves at least 2 hours. Pick a spot at home or outside in a restaurant where you can relax and be comfortable together. Choose suitable mood lighting and music, and prepare your favourite drinks. Make sure you will not be distracted by your children, if you have any.
Step 2: Either on your mobiles or traditional pen and paper, craft your dating profiles as you sit together enjoying your music and drinks. Do not show them to your partner before they are completed. The richer you make your profile, the more fun you can have. Your profile is made up of your answers to these two questions:
Question 1 – Describe yourself and your interests.
Question 2 – What are you looking for in a partner?
Take the writing of your profiles seriously, as if you are really putting yourself out to meet a new partner. Write as if it is for anyone to read and to respond.
Step 3: When you are done, take turns and share with each other the answers to each question. You can also email them to each other.
As you read, imagine you have not met the person who wrote the profile. What do you notice? Might you be interested in meeting the person behind the profile?
Now, read it again knowing that it is your spouse who has written it. Are you surprised by anything you read? Are you comforted and assured by anything? Are you saddened by anything?
Once you have read through the profiles, discuss them together with curiosity and open-mindedness, as if meeting your spouse for the first time. Ask what he or she means about certain things written in the profile. Share more details about what you have written if asked to elaborate. Be tender and honest with each other.
You may find that you already know your spouse very well or that there are things that are important to him or her that you have not addressed in a while. You may find that some parts are sad but some are hopeful. You may even have a good laugh together! No marriage is perfect, but being able to stay together through the good and the bad is a hallmark of great commitment in marriage.
Feel free to share a comment with me after you have tried it out. What worked? What didn’t work? How can it be improved for you?
I hope you enjoy the exercise as much as my wife and I did!
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